Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Monday, September 6, 2010

{angel baby}

Things we call you other than Violet: 

Angel baby
Sweet pea
Precious
Love bug
Beautiful girl
Cutie Pie
My little angel
Sunshine
Stinky butt
Sanchez
Snookie {lol} 
Sweetheart/Sweetie
Tiny Dancer
My world... 

{it's amazing how much changed the instant you were born, my sweet little violet}

Sunday, July 18, 2010

{she's here! introducing violet...}

She's here! Our precious little Violet was born outside, under blue skies and San Diego sunshine, via beautiful all-natural, med-free hypnobirth on Wednesday, July 14th. She weighed in at a petite 6 pounds, is 19.5 inches long, and has a full head of dark brown hair.

Forgive me if I'm a little MIA for the next week or so, but we're busy falling in love with our new daughter. <3

 {our world...}

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

{39 weeks, a retrospective}

Looks like I missed my final weekly update before Violet was born! In an effort to provide her with a complete summary of her mommy's pregnancy,  here is what should have been my 39 week update... as well as I can remember, from the perspective of myself on July 14th, the day she was born. :o) 

 {39 weeks, 4 days- taken on our nightly walk/the last photo of me pregnant <3} 

  • How far along? 39 weeks, 5 days


  • Total weight gain/loss: around 23 lbs.


  • Sleep: Bathroom breaks-a-plenty. Woke up this morning at 3:30am to a odd-acting dog, so I got up and let her out to potty. Rushed to the bathroom moments later to find that my bloody show... showed! Looked "bloody show" up on my iPhone- labor should start within 72 hours. This is it!


  • Best moment this week: Wellll, other than possibly being in labor, I'm really enjoying every last minute alone with Evan. <3


  • Movement: It feels like she's trying to push her way out. Throughout the day, I notice her pushing against the top of my uterus with both feet and her head pressing firmly downward on my cervix. Come on out, precious! 


  • Food cravings: All of the things I've had to cut out during my pregnancy- runny egg yolks, chai tea lattes, here I come!


  • Gender: Girl :)


  • Labor Signs: YES! Bloody show at 3:30am! Who would have thought something called "bloody show" could bring a girl so much excitement. {My surges started about 30 minutes later, growing consistently stronger and closer together over the next 9 hours. Things never slowed down when the sun came up like my doula said they would. My water broke during my first and only cervix check around 1:30pm, where my doctor found that I was 9cm dilated and ready to push. Craziness.}


  • Belly Button in or out? Still in, yay. 


  • What I miss: Nothing. This is it!


  • What I am looking forward to: Picnics on the front lawn, playing dress-up, seeing her reaction to the world, seeing Evan's reaction to her... 


  • Weekly Wisdom: Love, love, love...


  • Milestones: Labor is here! The ultimate pregnancy milestone! 


  • Monday, July 12, 2010

    {right now...}

    Outside my window... it looks like a chilly December day, but it's July. How am I going to explain this odd weather to V? Hehe. 
    The time is... 11:58am.
    Today I feel... lots of contractions, lots of pressure. 
    I am thinking... about all the work I need to finish before I start maternity leave on Friday. Meh.
    At the moment, I am thankful... for a healthy baby, husband, and self.
    I am going... to eat lunch soon. Baby is hungry.
    I am wearing... jeans & a cute shirt/cardigan from Nordies with flip flops.
    I wish... I knew when baby was coming. The anticipation is killing us!
    I am reading... "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth." Almost done :o)
    I am working on... thank you cards.
    I am hoping... for a successful HypnoBirth.
    I am hearing... the new air purifier my boss got for our office.
    I bet you didn't know... that I was 9lbs, 3oz. at birth. Yikes!
    One of my favorite... foods right now is blueberries. Can't get enough. Mmm.

    Thursday, July 8, 2010

    {38 weeks!}


    {holy eff... next week she's going to be as big as a mini watermelon!}

    How your baby's growing:

    Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

    Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)


  • How far along? 38 weeks, 6 days





  • Total weight gain/loss: around 25 lbs.





  • Sleep: Ugh. Lots of bathroom breaks, and we have some new neighbors- a large family a screeching owls and a rooster who wakes up at 4am every morning and crows ALL DAY. Lovely!





  • Best moment this week: Our maternity photo shoot with Karen was pretty amazing, and meeting our doula, Dawn.





  • Movement: She was really quiet on Tuesday, but she's been moving around like crazy since then.





  • Food cravings: Acai bowls, still. And sweets. Mmm.





  • Gender: Girl :)





  • Labor Signs: Lots of irregular surges, and some other funky feelings going on down there. Doc says she's verrrrry lowwwww. Come on out, little one! :o)





  • Belly Button in or out? Still in.





  • What I miss: Running.





  • What I am looking forward to: So much...





  • Weekly Wisdom: This will all be over in the blink of an eye, so enjoy it! 





  • Milestones: We're in the single digits- 8 days til our due date! Craaaaazzzzy. 

  • Tuesday, July 6, 2010

    {preview: maternity pics}

    And now, without further adieu... a couple of our maternity pics! There are more, but they are a bit too... revealing... to share online. Hehe.

    Thanks to Karen from The Legacy Boutique  in Los Angeles for making me feel so beautiful and both of us so comfortable.

    Enjoy!

    {kisses at the santa monica pier}

    Thursday, July 1, 2010

    {dear little one}

    V,

    I just realized that we only have 15 days left until your due date, V. Wow! <3 While your dad and I still have some minor things to do in preparation for your arrival, I'd say we are totally ready for you to come whenever you are.

    Throughout the day, your dad asks me, "Are you going to have a baby today?" Ahh, how nice it would be to know the answer to that question! I've been having lots of practice surges, but nothing timeable. Not yet at least! We're all so excited to meet you this month. Yesss, it's finally July- your birth month. We still can't believe it.

    It's such a gorgeous day today. Early this morning, your dad and I met with our doula, the amazing Dawn Thompson.  Afterward, Dad ran to work, I made lunch, and then I took the dog, Sky, for a walk through the neighborhood. Now, as I type this letter to you, your cloth diapers are in the washing machine. I finally started prepping them today, which involves washing & drying them five times in hot water. Why five times, you ask? Each cycle increases their absorbency. Muy importante! You are going to look soooo cute in all of your fluffy little purple, green, pink, and orange diapers.

    Wellll, I've got about 30 minutes before the laundry needs rotating, so I think I'm going to lay down in the hammock for a little nap. It's one of those warm, summery, nap-in-a-hammock kind of days. Who am I to argue with Mother Nature? ;)

    See you soon, precious...
    Mom

    PS: One of our family traditions is taking photos in the photo booths at the Del Mar Fair every year. You {ok- more like the belly,} made your first appearance in our annual photo booth picture on Tuesday. Pretty cute, right? :P

    {37 weeks}

    How your baby's growing:

    Your baby is now considered "full term," even though your due date is three weeks away. If you go into labor now, her lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb.

    Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.


     
  • How far along? 37 weeks, 6 days



  • Total weight gain/loss: around 22 lbs.



  • Sleep: I've developed quite the technique for rolling out of bed. It must be hilarious to watch. :P



  • Best moment this week: Spending time with the husband. Love him. <3 And our maternity photo shoot with Karen of The Legacy Boutique. We can't WAIT to see the pics.



  • Movement: Lots. A couple nights ago she pushed her leg out soooo far!



  • Food cravings: Acai bowls & Thai food from Spice & Rice. Mmm.



  • Gender: Girl :)



  • Labor Signs: Lots of practice surges, and she has officially dropped. Lots of pressure nowadays.



  • Belly Button in or out? Still in.



  • What I miss: Being comfortable.



  • What I am looking forward to: Fourth of July celebrations. Baking red velvet cookies. Placing the finishing touches on baby's nursery.



  • Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy these last few days/weeks alone with Evan. Cuddle. Take naps. Smile.



  • Milestones: On Monday,  Dr. Biter told me that her head has moved down into my pelvis. She's on her way out!

  • Monday, June 21, 2010

    {35/36 weeks...?!}

    36 weeks...

    Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

    At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. {She is, yay!}




    Time sure does FLY when you have company in town for two weeks straight :P


  • How far along? 36 weeks, 3 days





  • Total weight gain/loss: around 18 lbs.





  • Sleep: Some nights I only get up once, and then there are others... Ugh... Let's not even go there. Hehe.





  • Best moment this week: There have been several. Waking up next to Ev on his first Father's Day. Spending one last baby-free weekend with my Daddy Chris. Seeing V's sweet face in a 3D ultrasound. It's been a good couple of weeks.





  • Movement: She's doing big things in the belly.





  • Food cravings: Sweets. Can't get enough!





  • Gender: Girl :)





  • Labor Signs: Lots of practice surges, but no real labor signs. Not yetttt...





  • Belly Button in or out? Still in.





  • What I miss: Soy chai tea lattes, sashimi, Coca Cola, sak√©. Mmm.





  • What I am looking forward to: Caroline gets in from Amsterdam tomorrow. Can't wait to take some photo booth pics at the fair with the hubby and the belly! :o)





  • Weekly Wisdom: She could come at any moment... Such a trip.





  • Milestones: I'm officially 9 months pregnant now. Wait, what?? So crazy. Feeling great! 





  • Monday, June 14, 2010

    {target completion discount}

    Target registry completion coupon acquisitions...

    Boppy Bare Naked Nursing Pillow with protective cover and Fruit Salad slipcover. Yay!

    All items available via Amazon.com: 

    Available via Amazon.com:   
    Bumbo Baby Seat, Lime

    List of things we still need: 
    • Colgate Classica III Crib Mattress
    • Breast pump of some sort 
    • Swaddle blankets or sacks {Woobie? SwaddlePod? So many options!}
    • Laundry soap that works well with GroBaby diapers {any suggestions?}
    • Baby bath soap. I'm thinking California Baby... 
    • Bottles {speaking of options!?} 
    • Hanging wet bag
    • Bath bath tub


    Thursday, June 10, 2010

    {dear little one}

    Hi pretty. Your dad & I got to see you this morning for the first time in 14 weeks. Talk about exciting! According to Dr. Biter's measurements, you are a little over five pounds and measuring a few days ahead of schedule. You are head-down {good girl!} and were sucking on your leg during the ultrasound. Yes, I said leg. I mean, why go for the normal thumb-sucking when you can reach your leg? You're already an overachiever, just like your mama. Dr. Biter also said you have pouty lips. Aww!

    It's hard to believe that in five weeks {seven max,} you will be here in our arms, drooling, gurgling and wearing your cutesy cloth diapers and homemade headbands. We can't wait to meet you, precious.

    XO,
    Mom

    Here's a pic from today's ultrasound @ 34 weeks, 6 days:

    {you are so cute!}

    {cute shower dress!}

    Somebody talk me out of ordering this super cute Lilac Maternity Stripe Maxi Dress, on sale for $49.99. Hehe. How great would this be for a shower, wedding, or summer BBQ? I'm in love!

    {via zulily, originally $86}

    Also for sale, these pretty tanks and tops... Mommy like!


    Check out the Lilac Maternity sale on Zulily- sale ends 6/15 @ 7am PDT. Cute stuff, right?! :o)

    Tuesday, June 8, 2010

    {three signs it's time to stop working}

    Looks like it's time to stop working, haha...

    Three signs it’s time to stop working

    If you’re waffling about when to go on maternity leave, here are some clues:

    Via Sandy Jones for Baby Center


    Click here to find 
out more!
    1. You’re losing steam in the middle of the day. Sleepless nights are affecting your daytime performance and causing you to be sluggish, grouchy or forgetful. Plus, you find yourself stressing about all the neglected preparations waiting for you at home. {CHECK!}

    2. Sitting and standing are uncomfortable. Backaches, swollen legs and feet, and breathlessness are signs that you need more horizontal time, especially if your job requires spending a lot of time on your feet. {CHECK!}

    3. You’re having symptoms of early labor. Gnawing lower backaches, cramping or spotting means you need immediate medical attention. It’s possible your care provider will recommend complete bed rest. {CHECK!}

    Are there any pregnant women who aren't experiencing all of these symptoms? Hehe.

    {baby creationz}

    As someone who loves herself a good tattoo, I can't help but smile when seeing these cute little onesies and cardigans by Baby Creationz. :P

    Head over to Zulily.com to grab yours for $9.99 each- about 30% off. Ooh, and enter coupon code "classymws" for $10 off a purchase of $40 or more. Score!


    {must make this asap}

    Is it bad that I peruse Etsy for projects to make myself? Hmm...

    While getting my morning Etsy fix, I stumbled upon this absolutely adorable "I love you to the moon and back" wall decor. So cute, right? I cannot wait to make one. I've got the thread and felt at home, so I just need an embroidery hoop, some linen, and maybe a new set of alphabet stamps. How exciting!

    If you aren't the crafty type, this precious little nursery art can be yours for only $25 from Bo Peep Baby's Etsy shop. Enjoy!



    Other cuteness from her shop...

    Monday, June 7, 2010

    {33/34 weeks!}


  • How far along? 34 weeks, 3 days


  • Total weight gain/loss: around 15 lbs.


  • Sleep: waking up at least 2-3x a night. Grr. 


  • Best moment this week: My baby shower! Amazing :o) 


  • Movement: Lots. We can feel her parts when we press on the belly. So crazy. 


  • Food cravings: Soft pretzels. Mmm. 


  • Gender: Girl :)


  • Labor Signs: Nope!


  • Belly Button in or out? Still in.


  • What I miss: "Normal" clothes. See you soon! 


  • What I am looking forward to: Meeting our little girl, and visits from my Daddy Chris and Caroline. Yay!


  • Weekly Wisdom: Time FLIES!!!


  • Milestones: Had my baby shower, which seemed so late in my pregnancy when it was originally scheduled, but now I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, this doesn't feel "late" anymore." What a trip. Only 39 days left until our due date. Ahh! 

  • Thursday, May 27, 2010

    {50 days?!}

    The little floaty baby ticker on my blog says I only have 50 days to go until my due date. Oh my goodness. How is that even possible?

    While incredibly tempting, I'm going to resist the urge to rattle off a long list of baby things we still desperately need to acquire before V arrives. Breathe, Danielle. Your shower is next weekend. It will be ok.

    Craziness!!

    {my new brest friend}

    Yes, I said brest friend. Apparently "My Brest Friend" nursing pillows are a must-have for all breastfeeding moms. Who knew something with such a cheesy name could be so wonderful? 

    While I was at prenatal yoga last night at Babies in Bloom, this adorable pillow caught my eye. Cute, right? Even though I'm registered for a solid pink MBF pillow on my Babies R Us registry, I couldn't resist the pink, orange, and chocolate polka dots. Can you blame me? :o) 



    Wednesday, May 26, 2010

    {32 weeks, 5 days}






    How your baby's growing:

    By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.


  • How far along? 32 weeks, 5 days

  • Total weight gain/loss: Not sure, around 15 lbs?

  • Sleep: Super sleepy during the day.

  • Best moment this week: Planting our fruit and veggie garden. Mmm.

  • Movement: Lots. 

  • Food cravings: Burritos.

  • Gender: Girl :)

  • Labor Signs: Nope!

  • Belly Button in or out? Still in.

  • What I miss: Mid-afternoon/evening energy.

  • What I am looking forward to: Meeting a friend's week-old baby tonight before yoga. 

  • Weekly Wisdom: Breathe.

  • Milestones: Felt V's hiccups for the first time on Monday!

  • {motherhood gene causes craftiness?}

    I think my "mom gene" has officially been activated. I literally c.a.n.n.o.t. stop crafting. 

    In less than two weeks, I've somehow found the time to make multiple sets of baby blocks and a couple dozen onesies. Today, I find myself in the middle of a headband-making extravaganza.

    It's intense over here. We're talking huge piles of card stock, felt, fabric, Cricut cartridges, scissors, tape, glue, Mod Podge, sandpaper, buttons, craft wire, embroidery floss, and a cute new pin cushion. If you've even been to our house, you know how little space we have for... anything. Allow me to apologize to my husband now. I'm sorry babe. I'll clean it up soon. Love you bunches. :o) 




    What's next, you ask? Probably the nursing cover I want to make with my new sewing machine!


    Monday, May 24, 2010

    {thank you, nice grocery store boy}

    "Soooo, boy or girl?" -grocery store boy
    "Girl!" -me

    "Whew, it's always risky asking women that question! How far along are you? Five, six months?" 

    "Eight, actually. I'll take that as a compliment. You just made my day."  -me, with a huge smile on my face

    These days it's the little things, ya know? I've been feeling quite large lately- baby is getting big in there!

    Hopefully the stranger comments will stay nice for the next two months. Seems like people lose all tact when it comes to discussing the pregnant form. :P

    {cute mobile sustitute?}

    While drooling over the million and one handcrafted things I desperately want from Etsy, I stumbled upon this precious Canary Yellow Lovey-Dovey Chandelier, $90. If our nursery was a tad bit bigger, I don't think I could resist hanging it somewhere in V's room. 



    What do you think- would this make a cute mobile substitute?

    Thursday, May 20, 2010

    {i have you}


    {via my fav pre-preg blog, designcrush}

    {felt and found}

    WARNING: Very cute felt hair accessories! 

    I want them all... 

    {via felt and found, $6-14}

    {yay for afff nursing pads!}

    Not sure how I pulled it off, but I just score a 3-pack of Artsy Fartsy Foo Foo nursing pads! According the the Eco-Friendly Family community on The Bump, these reusable pads are the best money can buy, making them near-impossible to get. The creator of AFFF's Milk Maid pads only stocks her online store once, sometimes twice, a month with very limited inventory, so I'm completely shocked that my order went through. 


    Yes friends, I am excited about nursing pads. Crazy how life changes so quickly, right?!

    Tuesday, May 18, 2010

    {dear little one}

    V,

    Hi precious. Mama has a small request- could you please stop kicking me in the ribs? Over the past few weeks, your jabs have gone from cute to annoying to, as of this morning, painful. Also, could you move around for your dad a bit when he puts his hand on the belly? He would like that quite a lot. See you in a couple weeks! :o) 

    Love you bunches,
    Mom

    {via ffffound}

    {right now}

    Outside my window... it's gray and wet. We're having an abnormally cold May here in San Diego.
    The time is... 9:57am.
    Today I feel... lots of Braxton Hicks contractions.
    I am thinking... about lunch, already.
    At the moment, I am thankful... for our landlord {who installed a new oven in our kitchen yesterday.}
    I am going... to register for the "Walk for Hope" on May 22nd.
    I am wearing... jeans & a red/white striped shirt with a cardigan and boots.
    I wish... our family lived closer.
    I am reading... "The Blue Jay's Dance" by Louise Erdrich {one of my amazing Mother's Day gifts from Dad & Mel}
    I am working on... thank you cards.
    I am hoping... for a big, healthy baby.
    I am hearing... tummy growls. Time for a snack.
    I bet you didn't know... that a small belly doesn't necessarily mean a tiny baby.
    One of my favorite... TV shows is Modern Family. Too funny!

    Phil's response when his son Alex asks what Jägermeister is...
    “You know how in a fairy tale there’s always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that except you don’t wake up in a castle — you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.”

    {xo, danielle}

    Monday, May 17, 2010

    {31 weeks and I can't see my toes anymore}


  • How far along? 31 weeks, 3 days



  • Total weight gain/loss: Not sure, around 15 lbs?



  • Sleep: Getting up at least 2x a night. Grr.



  • Best moment this week: Passed my glucose test. So excited.



  • Movement: She's getting big and moves a ton.



  • Food cravings: Sweets. Pretzel dogs. Mac&cheese. Mmm.



  • Gender: Girl :)



  • Labor Signs: I've had some practice surges this week. Fun, fun.



  • Belly Button in or out? Still in.



  • What I miss: Dairy. I've had to eliminate it to get my colitis under control.



  • What I am looking forward to: A nap. I'm completely exhausted today.



  • Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every single moment, because time slows for no one.



  • Milestones: 32nd Anniversary Sale @ the feed store went great, passed my glucose test, we're getting a new oven today, and oh yeah- I can't see my toes anymore! Belly is officially that big. Yikes. :P 






  • {i passed!!!}

    I've got very good news- I passed my 1hr glucose tolerance test! Happy dance, happy dance. I am sooooo relieved. No gestational diabetes for this mama. Yay! :o)


    Thursday, May 13, 2010

    {had my 1hr glucose test today...}

    ...and it wasn't bad at all! The one-hour glucose tolerance test, which screens for gestational diabetes, is given to all women at around the 28-week mark of their pregnancy. Due to my nasty colitis flare-up a couple weeks ago, I took mine today- at 31 weeks. 

    Most women go on and on about how terrible the glucose test is, so I'll admit that I dreaded taking it. I planned on going last week, but I put it off. How do you decide which day you want to torture yourself with a nasty medical procedure? Little did I know that my worrying was completely unnecessary! 

     {image via cafemama}

    Thankfully, my amazing OB, Dr. Biter, recommended that I take a "breakfast glucose test."  Instead of the typical fasting and nasty, sugary, gasless orange soda-drinking one drinks before the blood draw, I was allowed to eat two eggs, two pieces of toast with butter, an 8oz. glass of milk, and an 8 oz. glass of OJ. Then, an hour later, I had blood drawn by Marisol, who I am convince is an angel. She is the first phlebotomist to get a vein in my arm on the first poke in at least a dozen blood draws. I heart her, and I will go back to her with every lab slip I am given from this day forward. I was at the lab for less than 30 minutes, there was no nasty orange drink, and I only have one teeny band-aid on my arm. It's the little things... :P 

    The glucose tolerance results take 2-3 days, which means I'll have to wait until at last Monday or Tuesday to find out whether or not I passed. I'm super hopeful that I did, especially considering that I'm pretty dang sure there isn't a "3-hour breakfast test!" Fingers crossed. :o)



    Tuesday, May 11, 2010

    {oh yeah, japan pics!}

    How sad is it that we've been back from Japan for over a month and I'm just now looking at our pictures?!  Shutterfly sent us a "50% off any photobook" coupon code a couple days ago, so I'll be creating a cute little "First Anniversary in Japan" memory book tonight. Finally, hehe! :o) 

    One of my favs so far... 

    {renegade craft fair}

    I don't know much about the Renegade Craft Fair, but I can tell from the name that I desperately want to attend! Unfortunately, this year's fair arrives in LA the week after my due date- July 24th-25th, so I'll either be a: at home with a newborn, or b: luring her out of my belly with those air traffic controller wands. For those of you who won't be otherwise occupied, please enjoy it for me!